I have lost something I can never get back. Love. I don't want to give up, but everyone says it is for the best. That I will be ok eventually. I am not a strong person. I am prescribed to xanax, it is the only thing keeping me from completely falling apart. I have never been able to handle emotional pain. I used to cut myself,I have many scars all over my arms. I haven't done it since I started taking bipolar medicine. I have been using a derma roller for a while it is working,they are fading. About 2 years ago I slit my wrist. I want the scars gone. I don't want reminder's of all the pain I have been through or caused. But I can't forget. It will always be in my mind. I have been with a guy,who I thought I was gonna marry, we even have rings in lay away @ a jewelry store. This August would have been 6 years we have been together and lived together. We fight a lot, always have. I made mistakes and so did he. He was unfaithful a few times. I stayed with him. I loved him too much. Now I'm @ my Mom's with some of my things. All I can do is pray. This hurts so much. I know he is hurting a lot. We love each other so much, we are fine the sweetest couple till we fight. Then it's like we bring out the worst in each other. I am so confused, angry, sad, and lost. I don't know what is going to happen.